Rainy Martini

January 02, 2012

de quelqu'un amour



I know I wasn't being fair on my previous post.

First, it was supposed to welcome the brand new year with a bang, but I blew it. I ended up ranting about washing the dishes (which was, in any case, a responsible thing for anyone to do) and my Mom being unjust. My guilt gnawed at me and if there's anyone being unfair here, it's probably me. I'm a girl after all. Maybe she was just training me for the harsh housewife (lol?) years to come. I could've been living all by myself now (like when I was 14, I rented a room because my school was like 3 cities away) and wouldn't even know what to do to keep my space clean.

Don't get me wrong, I clean up all right. I just loathe dirty dishes. You can go round orderin' me to wash the car and I wouldn't mind. All because it involves getting wet and sometimes it's fun. Aside from the vacuuming part ok.

So I wanna say sorry to my Mom for calling her unfair on New Year's Day. She doesn't know about it, but still. It won't calm my beating heart if I let it linger. It's like I bad-mouthed my mother on some light level. And it's not good. The words were written out of vexation and controlling myself was highly unlikely that time. My recklessness would later ruin me, and I don't want that.

Iron things out while the creases are still fresh.

Second, why the heck was my banner saying Goodbye instead of Welcome!?

Perhaps I'd never get over my pessimistic self. It's just too hard to leap from one faith to another. I'm not a frog and faiths aren't lily pads either. Maybe I could go with my pessimistic ways, but with more courage. It's not that I'm suffering from some inferiority complex of sorts, I just hate getting disappointed. What, you expect something silver (or even golden) and you get ugly rocks instead? Getting disappointed is disappointing.

Ehem, well anyway, I should stop eating chocolates and drinking soda. I'm allergic to chocolates. Yes I know I'm cursed for the rest of my life but so what? It's just allergy, and who says I can't eat 'em just because my skin would itch and my heart would tap dance a few minutes later!? If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed how I tweet every time I drink Coke or some other soft drinks. I'm not supposed to drink them. My family forbids me so I feel a wee bit triumphant every time I do it behind their backs.

And oh, I have fuck loads of creative light (if you could call 'em that) photos and my hands are itching to post them all. But my previous posts were light blah so I guess I should hold back for a while. Sigh.

3 comments:

  1. Creative lights photos = can't hold camera steady for a minute in the dark so might as well shake it around to produce squiggly lights.

    Hi bby. Happy new year :D

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  2. LOL YEAH. FUCK LOW LIGHT. You know lah when I was at Marion's the sky was grubby so there was practically no sun. The camera won't beep. BUT WHEN I FOCUSED ON HIS PIMPLE kena beep wtf. laughing like siao wtfff.

    see how demanding low light can be? =))

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  3. That's a good one :) realizing something wrong that you've done. Well I was shocked when I read that you're allergic to chocolates. When you say chocolates, you mean all kinds? wow. That must be hard. But sometimes we can't always follow the rules right? :P

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