Rainy Martini

September 09, 2013

Love

My weeks have been very difficult. Even for a nineteen-year-old. I love thinking that I'm the only person who can do the things I just did as a form of self-consolation or something. I even chant "I'm awesome. I'm awesome" just to calm my nerves. I'm not awesome, I know, but sometimes you gotta pretend that you are just so you can get through deep shit. So yeah, I am awesome. And you're awesome too if you feel like bursting my bubble. Maybe not. I changed my mind. You're not awesome if you burst my bubble. There.


I was walking. It was, I think, quarter to seven in the morning. I was texting Niko (bad example. Never text while walking. I mean don't usually do that lol because I obviously do and I'm not in the position to tell everyone not to hahaha so yeah do it but not always ok?) and I. Just. Had. To. Stop because I was seeing the sweetest thing I've seen in weeks. Well, apart from the fact that I just sacrificed so many things for my nephew. But that's a different kind of sweet.

They were walking, arm in arm. Left foot right foot. Left foot forward. I was stunned at how they were so synchronized. I was walking. Right foot left foot forward. And my naughty hand was pressing the shutter button before I knew it.

My phone camera was crap. But I also realized that I was taking a photo of the most beautiful thing I've seen in weeks.

They're an old couple. And I believe they make a living by selling scrap because everytime we (I was right behind them, and no, I wasn't stalking) pass a trash can by, their eyes were on it. There was something comical about the way they turned their heads. I felt like I was pressing a button: press! head turns left, press! eyes back on the road.

Dirty clothes. Concentration of dirt on the butt area. They'd been sitting on the ground. Or possibly sleeping on it.

There was an abrupt stop. I'd love to say that I wasn't stalking them because I honestly wasn't and I just happened to be walking on the same direction but I also halted. To my defense, the road wasn't very wide and a jeepney was driving past. I also didn't want to die getting hit by a jeepney because I didn't want to trouble the driver with all the expenses and shit. I decided to overtake them and I heard their conversation.

"Nasa bag mo?"
"wala noh!"
"Nasa bag mo eehhh"
"Wala kaya!"
"Kiss kita kapag nandun!"

I stopped. Again.

And I cried.

I don't know if you're one to appreciate these tiny nothings. "Nothings", you say. Call me cheesy but this is, I know I'm redundant, the most beautiful scene I have seen in weeks. (Well, except for me and my... hehehe. What! I was gonna say "nephew". Or maybe boyfriend. Who knows.). Dirty clothes, and they were probably about to start collecting stuff that they could sell to the junk shop. I couldn't help but wonder if they had kids or not. Or what happened to them. Where do they live? How do they eat? Take a bath? Relieve themselves? Maybe they're not homeless. Maybe they just decided to sleep on the ground because hey, they live three hours away and what's the point of travelling every day if you can sleep near your work place?

They don't have much. They're very sweet.

And I was reduced to tears. Hearing those words was like a wake-up call to me.

Call me cheesy, but really, there are times when all you ever need is... when all you ever need is love.