Hungry July

Happy July everyone! How come it's July already?

I updated my layout!

I've been told to write my CV but I'm blogging instead. Hahaha. I dunno, I can write novelettes and poems but technical writing!? God no. I was absent when CV-writing was taught at school. I'M NOT EVEN LYING. In my honest opinion it's one of the hardest things to write. Everything about it makes me feel awkward. I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Nothing makes me sure and even though there are formats online I'm still unsure about everything. It's kinda eerie for me to write about myself in such a structured manner.

LAUGH ALL YOU WANT. Creating a resumé must sound like a piece of cake (or chicken if you prefer) for you, but me... I can't even bear looking at my horrendous 2X2 photo. I CAN'T. I CAN'T THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. HELP. ME. PLEASE. Will removing it for the meantime help?

Wait.

OH GOD IT DID. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Maybe the reason why I feel uneasy when it comes to this thing is because I got rejected so many times when I tried looking for a part-time job when I was 16. That time I blamed my stupid CV for my failure. Later I realized it was my age. But nothing changed.

Wait I'm gonna continue with my current adventure.

It doesn't feel right. Bah, probably gonna update tomorrow and make up for tonight.

Bye.

在哪里？

I've been growing more and more obsessed with the summer sky.

My previous post was a mess. Hell, I didn't even use my own photo. (╯3╰) Thinking about deleting that post but what's the point?

I firmly believe I should cover that post up instead. So what should I talk about?

Hmm, I finished reading the Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood). There'll be a review coming up! I promise. I bought it three years ago but every time I flip it open, I just can't seem to know why I should continue. So I just stashed it in my books cabinet and forgot about it.

And now I finished it.

Wow.

I'm not going to say what I think of it, not in this post, no.

LOLJK I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW. I LOVED IT. I LOOOVE IT. It made me realize what I've been trying to ponder for so long: why I can't stand dystopian novels. Wow. But it's so open-ended I am left with my imagination to decide what will happen to Offred (╥_╥) I wish to stop typing "wow".

I'm going to change and change my layout until it finally feels right. So yeah, expect a girly layout soon. I don't know when soon is. Maybe later?

MAYBE NEVER? Nooooooo. My life is still in shambles, mind you. I wish I could tell you why.

By the way, friends of my mother/uncles/aunts/big brother or other relatives: PLEASE STOP BLABBERING ABOUT WHAT I PUT HERE. I mean it's okay for you to read this blog or whatever, but I don't think it will do any good if you report what you see to my mother or whoever. There are reasons why I'm hiding my real name, and this is one of it. I made the mistake of showing you my new blog. I wish I could change my URL. I'm currently an angst-filled teenager so if you don't mind, just let me rant.

There's this writing contest I wanna join, too. But writing a children's story is so hard, I don't know if I can make it. Maybe I should find someone to critique my piece before I submit it.

Where should my head go?

I noticed how I use my sky photos when I write a post about random things.

Oooooh, my favorite Korean girl groups are making their comeback! Maybe I should busy myself with that. Yeah, I fangirl over female artists more, IDK why ok. It always feels nice to hear fresh tracks.

Gonna end this nonsensical wordy post now. Bye.

I'm so random.

I can't take it

Photo from gryfon

I'm having a bad time. I wish I could start this post with a better word wizardry but I can't. I don't feel at ease. I'm sorry for not being able to respond to your queries/tags/e-mails on time, I rarely go online.

Let's say the events that occur right now is a layered cake.

First layer:
My dog is dying. *cries* I just got him about a few months ago, he's only like 4 months old. I won't go into details because it makes me cry so yeah. Coco is dying. I feel so alone and unloved.

Second layer:
Lara (my friend/music center schoolmate) is ignoring me. She kept complaining how we didn't see each other for about a month and that I should go out. I told her I can't because there are problems at home and it's so stressing.

A few days ago, she asked me out to the bookstore or somewhere. I told her I can't promise anything. The day passed and boom. She doesn't even respond to my IMs. Ugggh Lara you...!

Then she told me how I broke my promise. Never mind that we talked through MSN and there's a fucking archive. Never mind that I never said I'd make it.

Wow.

So most of my real life friends are ignoring me. Wow. Wow. Just because I can't go out.

Third layer:
Some fucking reptile bit my ankle. I was in the middle of the rice field AND IT JUST BIT ME. Wtf. I was lucky its fangs didn't go deeper into my flesh. It was just some kind of scratch. I won't go into details again. I'm not in danger of anything but I can't walk properly though.

Fourth later:
As you probably know, my two siblings who have been away from us for years flew home about a week ago. They're just not the same, it's hard to keep up with their brand new personality which is altogether demanding and really inconsiderate.

The cherry on top:

IT'S SO NOISY AT HOME. LIKE, YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR YOURSELF SPEAK, LET ALONE THINK.

I didn't wanna tell you all this.

PS: I do enjoy having like 7 kids at home at the moment. But sometimes they fight and it's like, reaaaally annoying.

out of the gray... I mean blue

Moody weather. I expected nothing less than this, as March is coming to a close. But earlier it rained hard, drops of smelly rain pounded on my roof and for a moment I felt bothered. I don't understand why, normally I'd throw a party and invite myself every time it rains. Then I'll party with me. Me and I will make coffee together and drink it together, pausing only to cool our burnt tongue.

Yeah, it was really fun hanging out with me. #foreveralone

No, no. I can't do this. How am I supposed to write a proper post if Careless Whisper keeps playing in my mind!? IT JUST WON'T STOP. It plays the intro again and again. In fact it's going "toorooroorootroot" in my head as I type this. Oh, you don't know Careless Whisper? I don't believe you. At some point in your life you might have heard of it. Go search on Youtube and listen for 5 seconds!

It's a saxy music that will make you see beerhouses and strippers behind your closed eyes.

Let's just say that I've been reading again but could not concentrate because of that bloody song. I mean, okay, it's a good one. But please gerroff my head at the moment!

Another thing:

I've been receiving a few comments from anonymous people (or those who didn't leave any URL) saying that I was lying whenever I say that the photos in a certain posts are taken using my phone. Well I don't mind lol wtf. In fact, it exults me in a rather weird way. That could only mean one thing... I can haz effective denoising/sharpening skills. YES!!!

*dances nekkid*

Seriously though. You asked. I answered. You didn't get what you wanted, berated the truth I had said. Fine. (But if you're curious, the photo above was taken using a DSLR!)

But what I eternally hate is when someone uses a friend's name for some vile reason. Whether real-life or online friends I don't care. It's very uncool and flat-out irritating.

You see, Lionel's name is being used this time. Beats me why he/she/it is doing it. The IP address below belongs to the real Lionel.

I've saved a bunch of IP addresses in my sticky notes here and hopefully I'd know who they are. I do not desire getting even with them or stirring more shit. It's bad enough as it is. But I just wanna know who. So yeah I'll be paying attention to this statistics tracking site that I use. It records the IP address and geographical location and referring URL (if available) of my visitors and so much more. If I can match the time they tagged/posted a comment with the one recorded in this tracking site, I'd have a good haul.

Moving on, I made a Photoshop tutorial! I'll be teaching you how to add vintage effects to your photos. I hope you find it useful. To be posted in a few days' time I think.

Good night!