Rainy Martini

November 14, 2012

to ask oneself

Before I went home from work, I've been seeing funny tweets from my friends with #Amalayer hash tags. Another gay lingo gone famous, I thought. Went home to hear everyone yelling "amalayer! amadovegirl!" and I was like please stop already you freaking idiots. To my horror, a very humiliating video of a girl not older than me had gone viral. I don't want to link the video here but...

No. Go find it yourself. Ha.

I checked the hashtag page on Twitter and to be honest the tweets were surprisingly hilarious. Curiosity got the better of me and I found myself watching the video.


The star of the night was, yeah, the college girl with long hair and a crisp white top. Something happened between her and the lady guard, whatever that was, we'll never know. Now, while watching the video, so many thoughts were swirling inside my head. I wondered how the girl is feeling right now, I wonder if the lady guard felt triumphant or humiliated. I wondered if the gawkers were enjoying the scene. I also wonder if the person who recorded and even uploaded the whole thing feels a bit scared right now. I wonder about so many stuff. At once. By the way, I'm not here to blog about it.

I'm here to blog about my thoughts. My alarmingly hilarious thoughts. My alarmingly disturbing musings that are best kept private. Out of your eyes, out of your mind. They occur mainly when I ride the train every morning, I still can't get over the fact that I stand with fellow females chest to chest (I wanted to put boob to boob lol), elbow to elbow. And sometimes hair to hair. Gaaah I fear for my hair actually! Lice! Arrrgh.

One of the things I thought during the past few days was...

"If I were a pervy lesbo I'd enjoy this," with regards to the extremely cramped space inside the train car. Abominable eh?

To redeem myselft, here's another "Have they eaten breakfast already?"

I've been thinking more and more about other's welfare to be honest. I hate getting off the train because there are so many sidewalk vendors and my own thoughts cloud my judgment. If I see a man selling footwear, I would immediately speculate whether his family had eaten or not, how much had he earned already? Will it be enough for tomorrow? Is it cruel no to buy?

Not to mention the beggars. Then everything just crashes on me and my head would cry. By crying I meant headache. Haaaate headaches.

I'm a deep-thinker, and I muse about the most unexpected stuff. Also, I tend to ask questions that are usually the furthest thing from one's mind.

"I texted you while standing in the queue, why didn't you reply?" a friend once asked.

Then I answered his question with the question ''did the person next to you tried to discreetly read what you were typing?'

I know right.

Here is a collection of essays from my very-much-worshiped writer. I felt so alone until I found out about his works about five years ago.

What, did you think I'd list down his works? Looool. I meant to say "here are the photos" or something similar but my train of thought got, once again, derailed. Actually I was thinking about whether or not to continue blogging.

Sorry for delaying my upcoming giveaway! I meant to write about it today! Maybe tomorrow... I don't know. I'm so busy.

And tired. Good night everybody!


  1. Adilah14/11/12

    Rainy Martini I just want to say that you are so nice and sweet and funny so don't stop blogging!

  2. I have that exact Sedaris book.

  3. Oh my god you didn't even change one bit. You're still so disturbing as always.

  4. why hello there residents of my comment area!

  5. I want you to stay blogging. I really enjoy your posts.

  6. please don't stop blogging,
    i just found your blog and i really like it :)
    keep it up ! ❤

  7. I also sometimes answer questions with questions, just because it drives people crazy.




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