Rainy Martini

May 20, 2012

something, I guess

My hair is messy. So is my life. So is my mind. I need something to fix it with... like, some sort of resolve or a brand new wish I can busy myself daydreaming with. The thing is, you never run out of wishes. You build it up, build it up until you end up creating your own world inside yourself. That's what wishes are for; to create something inside that you can use when you get back to reality. Although, when one thing sucks in your life, it affects many other aspects in your existence. Like dominoes. Like a snowball rolling down the hill.

I don't want to treat my problems like a fucking domino or an annoying snowball. I want to build another dream, not a tangled chaos.

You might be wondering, why hair? Why use my ugly hair as a medium of voicing out a fraction of what I want to say? Beats me.

A personal blog should reflect the author, shouldn't it?

I'm doing a good job then. I always want to think of a new solution, new something. But at the end of the day all I ever do is rant on Twitter. Or this blog. You can't blame me, though. I mean, bloggers who are busy with shopping blog about their hauls. Bloggers who are into something post about that something. Me, I'm currently into thinking my days away and raving. There are no other things in my mind right now. So I post it alongside my photos.

I want to write a lively post. But seeing as I have no happy juice in my system (bah, no brain juice at all!), there's nothing to squeeze.

I guess I can only wish you guys a satisfying day, night, afternoon, or dawn.


  1. I agree with you - I just highlighted my hair golden blonde and I totally messed up! But my hair matches right along with my life :( I guess I can't complain too much because I'm still here living on earth, my family and friends are alive and safe, I have a job (that's underpaying me), etc, etc. But somethings just don't feel right all the time. I expect much more from a person like myself and I just haven't reached that point in my life yet. I'd really like to be satisfied with my life and I'm not 99.9% satisfied - not even 75% satisfied. Guess I've gotta keep working around the setbacks and keep on pushin'.

  2. Whatever your problems are, I'm pretty sure you'll get through with it. When there's a problem, there's a solution. Btw, I don't think your hair is messy (well at least in the photos).

  3. I got the same sentiments too :(

    I dream a lot to the point that I don't know what to do to fulfill any of them. It's like tonight, I'm gonna dream that I am a strong, independent woman with a career in journalism then the nest night I will dream that I am married with a football player (?)

    What sucks more is that sometimes you don't know what you really want to do with your life.


  4. @Carrie Yeah, we keep chasing satisfaction. Most of us with uncertainty, I think the least we could to is to think positively... which is tough.

    @Jamie I hope so! T___T LOL my hair was. I mean on the first shot.

    @Rhea *hugs back*

  5. You're right about the 'domino effect' when things sucks in life.I used to be like that when I was a kid,well,I am still a kid(that,I admit).I used to blame everyone and everything when something shitty happens.But now,when it comes to the things I want to do or have in life,I visualize that I already have it and I stay positive,and guess what? it works.srsly.

  6. ganyan din ako minsan. naguguluhan. yun nga lang... hindi ko maisiwalat sa blog ko, i dunno why, i adore you for that :)). i love your hair color! oh

  7. I love your website! :)

    I agree with the 'domino effect'. I hate it but it just happens. It is apart of life.

  8. Poor Xiayna. *pats back*


  10. Hey

    Wow, I wish my hair were like yours - it looks a lot easier to maintain if nothing else!

    The smallest things about ourselves, or about anything, can if well written, reflect a large part about us - which is why you describing your life as if it were messy hair, is quite brilliant!

    I saw your post on so fabulous' domain contest, and was wondering if you'd like to enter this other Domain Contest that I've been helping plan: http://www.icecaves.net :)


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