Rainy Martini

December 13, 2011

R.I.P. Sushi

I'm so hurt right now, this is 26x worse than my last breakup. It's like my heart's being... I don't know, squeezed? Twisted?

My puppy died this afternoon, while I was out. I've been told he suffered before dying. I can't even...

My widdle shushi... it breaks my heart..... ok now that he's gone, who will lick me awake in the middle of the night!? I must admit sometimes I found it annoying, but one night I found out why: I was crying in my sleep and yes, he was trying to wipe my tears omg. My stubborn lazy puppy wiping my stupid nightmare tears. I. Can't. Fucking. Believe. It. Remember the time when I told you every time we call his name he won't come? Unless you have a milk bowl in hand, there's no hope luring him to you. Lol. Typical of him.

Albeit his misdemeanors, Sushi has manners. I mean had. I need to get used to this oh god. I still can't believe he's gone. Well anyway, when he pees/vomits on the mat, he actually folds it or sits on it (lol) so my Mom won't see. He knew how much she hates mess. Lol, he really did.

I enjoy solitary moments at home, even before he came to my life. When Sushi arrived it changed, I started to get used to him snuggling with me and his occasional pillow-wrestling. But now that he's gone, I can't even think about lying down with my thoughts without his annoying bounce and snuggles.

I can't, I can't write any more. This is too painful for me to bear. All these memories of my puppy and me... oh god. I know I'm such a ninny lol, but if the only creature who values you passes away, you'll get what I mean.

Sushi does not complain when I wrestle with him! Gently, of course. He knows this command where I sit on the floor, cover my ears and yell "Rape!" It's actually an invitation for him to "attack" me. Lol.

Lol. Lol. Lol. I found it funny when he barks at his reflection. Lol. And that time when...

I need to laugh. I hate my annoying puffy eyes.

Sushi why'd you go without saying goodbye!? I just got home okay. I slept over at Nel's for two nights and spazzed about guys and books. I was laughing the whole two days without knowing that my little baby was suffering. I can't help but feel guilty. But what's done's done.

Maybe he didn't want me to remember him like that? When Kimbap died, it was also the time when I slept over at Nel's.


Cool, man. Cool. I'm trying to be as cheerful as possible. For my sake. For Sushi's soul's sake (if he ever has one) (I bet he does!) (because I say so).

I should light joss sticks.

Goodbye my baby. /cries forever


  1. aww hunny, don't cry! if you cry i cry too! ;((((((

    lol too late i know you're crying already. cheer up please? you still got me, i love you. sushi's not the only one who loves you, you just don't know it.

    RIP sushi. he was really funny when you showed him to me on cam one day. perhaps you should get a new dog?

  2. @irina i can't not cry ok (╥_╥ )

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss :(
    And he was so cute too! How old was he?

    Hope you feel better!

  4. *Cries* Nuuu, nuuuu, Sushi can't die! He was an adorable widdle thing and omg ;______;

    I'm sorry for your loss btw </3

  5. @chrissy he was only 4 months old.

    @izzie IKR T_________T still can't stop crying

  6. Aww, poor little thing.

  7. That's just sad :( I mean, we also had this same situation with our dog and we all became frustrated. We didn't even got to finish our lunch. Huhu :(( I know the feeling :|

    Cheer up! He's safe in dog heaven :)

  8. omg... im so sorry fo you...
    pls dont cry.. Shusi will get sad if he knows u there cant stop crying fo him.. i know its hard to forget.. and the loss is so painful,
    but cheer up... hope ull feel better soon...^^

    and uhmm i feel bad asked u fo that email, knowing youre sad now.. but i just want to say, thank you sooo much, youre the nicest blogger ive ever met..

    ily.. <3
    rip sushi..

  9. @annie thank you ♥ I'm trying not to cry but it's hard not to miss a companion who used to follow you around the house lol.

    it's ok, don't feel bad and yeah, you're welcome! (๑•∀•๑)

  10. Everyone's right. What was that freaky thing you do when you cry? Watching yourself in the mirror!?

    God you're getting weirder each day, and I thought I knew you well.

  11. @michael I know... he'll have more milk than he'd ever imagine in dog heaven lol. thanks :)

    @shawn ╰UUU╯I weird la. explain no can. thought you gotta grip of me leh

  12. Awwww I feel sorry for your loss :( RIP Sushi.

    I was really young when I owned my first and last dog, around 5 y.o I think. So when he died I didn't actually feel sad because I only cared about my toys lol. From then til now, I've never had a dog since, so I can't sympathize with you as much, but cheer up! :)

    Getting a new dog might help make you feel better :) or perhaps not :\ well, when you've moved on just a bit, maybe? Smile! :)

  13. Oh my.. I'm so sorry about your lost. It's so heartbreaking. I remember having the same reaction when we had a chick who died and when our dog of how many years finally died.

    AHHHHHH. It's so sad. But I know Sushi's better now. Time will heal the hurt. Cheer up! :)

  14. death sucks. i hope you feel better. at least sushi's in a better place now, no more suffering right? don't cry, ayite? (;

  15. Sushi!! Omo! I am so sorry for your lost. He shouldn't die yet, at least not that way (infection right?). That's exactly how I feel when I lost my Daniel -.-

    Remember one thing, He may not be yours today, but he will in another life.

    Condolence to you.. He such a cute little widdle dog.

    Now, go wipe your tears, held your head up high and be strong. I bet that's what Sushi want you to do too.


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